How did it feel? Let me tell you

Feelings alone are not what is most important when attending Mass or, in my case, assisting the Priest at Mass as Deacon.  One word that comes to mind is humble and another one is privileged.  Let me explain.  Over the past week I was able to assist at Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the great Easter vigil.  It was a privilege to be there because in a most special way I got to pray for you and with you, your intentions were my intentions and my Holy Communion was a reminder that for most of you, most of us, it is a Spiritual Communion.  I have personally learned the value of Spiritual Communion, making a good Act of Contrition and the beauty of a live streamed Mass.  Mass is not the same unless "in person" but these video Masses have kept us connected this last month and, if like me, allows me to appreciate the efforts of Priests even more.  Remember, most of the time they are doing this on their own; rarely is there a staff member or a camera man.

I often say Lord I am not worthy and I've said that a lot over the last week.  Why am I here, physically witnessing transubstantiation, proclaiming the Gospel, praying "our" intentions?  It is humbling.  And yes it's a bit strange, well, a whole lot strange that the pews are empty and our parishioners and visitors are not there.  But again, we know you are there in spirit, united in prayer, desiring to return to church and hungering for the Eucharist.

I never envisioned such a thing as the Mass closed to the public but I see and understand the reason, the value of such a heart-wrenching decision.  Just over the past week, while assisting, I've been aware of the dozens of incidental situations that could possible contract or spread the virus.  And that is with us being extremely careful.  At my church the Pastor allows for a separate cup for each assisting deacon and we personally purify our own cup, with our own purificator.  We stand further away than normal and we have hand sanitizer readily available in the sanctuary for any time we are aware that we should use it.

Folks, there will be a day, and we pray sooner than later, when we return to church.  But what will be changed and how will you change.  I do not perceive of the use of the common cup anytime soon.  Perhaps we eliminate the sign of peace or strongly suggest to offer it without physical contact.  Will parishioners attend Mass wearing gloves and masks?  Who knows.  Time will tell.

So on this Easter Sunday please know that all clergy, especially those presiding or assisting miss all of you and pray for you.  I trust you do pray the Spiritual Communion because it is a great connection to our Eucharistic Lord.  For our part, we will live stream away and I may come here again to tell you how it feels.