From former porn actress to a brand-new member of the Catholic Church; a great conversion story

 

Former porn actress embraces Catholic faith after trip to Italy that changed her life

Bree Solstad, a young woman who previously produced and acted in the pornography industry, is among the adult converts who entered the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil this year on March 30, 2024. | Credit: Miss B Converted in X

By Walter Sánchez Silva, Christina Herrera

ACI Prensa Staff, Apr 12, 2024 / 14:30 pm

Bree Solstad, a young woman who previously produced and acted in the pornography industry, is among the adult converts who entered the Catholic Church this Easter, leaving behind her life of “countless sins” and embracing the Catholic faith.

Solstad told ChurchPop that prior to her conversion, she led a life full of promiscuity and self-obsession, which spiked when a “recruiter” reached out to her.

“I was drinking more heavily and started a blog about my hedonistic behavior. The blog caught the attention of a successful sex worker, who reached out to me and essentially recruited me,” she said. “She showed me how to get set up and introduced me to some important people in the industry who could help me make as much money as possible. I had no moral compass and was all about myself anyway.”

Solstad, who now goes by Miss B Converted on X and presents herself as “a repentant sinner who converted to Christ; former porn actress and producer,” announced on Jan. 1, the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, her decision to “quit sex work. To repent of my countless sins. To give up my life of sin, wealth, vice, and vain self-obsession.”

She shared with her followers that her decision came after a trip to Rome and Assisi in Italy, where touched by the beauty of the art she saw in the churches she visited and the theology it represented, she experienced “what can only be described as a life-altering conversion.”

“This is a humbling experience and one that I know may be mocked or questioned by many. I am giving up all my income and turning my life over to Christ. I am leaving behind my life of rampant sin, vice, pride, debauchery, vanity, and lies to — with God’s grace — live a life of truth, beauty, obedience to God’s divine will, virtue, and humility,” she wrote on X. 

Solstad, who had an account on various pornographic content platforms, said that she had been preparing for the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) for some time and that she planned to be confirmed and receive her first Communion during the Easter Vigil this Holy Week. She made her first confession on Spy Wednesday.

“Thank you, Jesus,” she prayed on X, “for not giving up on such a wretched sinner. Thank you Blessed Mary, Mother of God, for your immense love and consolation.”

The young convert added that “God’s forgiveness and mercy is real. If someone as broken and sinful as me can be redeemed and converted, there is no doubt anyone reading this can also be saved by his divine mercy.”

The Virgin Mary and St. Clare of Assisi

Solstad was baptized as a Lutheran when she was 8 years old and considered herself at least “nominally Christian,” she explained April 5 to ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner.

However, during college she lived a life of “drunkenness, drugs, and promiscuity.” Experiencing a tragedy in her life, she prayed hard but, she said, “I felt like God had turned his back on me and so I did the same to him,” Solstad commented to ChurchPop.

In 2023 she traveled to Italy, where she always noticed the crucifixes in the churches she visited. However in Sorrento, she said, “I noticed the Virgin Mary on street corners all over the place. All of a sudden, I felt like Mary was calling me in the strangest way. Each time I entered a church, I felt compelled to seek her out.”

At Assisi, she said, “I was impressed by St. Francis, but I was moved to tears by St. Clare. I knelt by her tomb and again asked for assistance. I felt like St. Clare was actually present with me and that she was going to take all the pain and anxiety from me and somehow give it to God,” Solstad told ACI Prensa.

After that experience and returning home, “I quickly realized that I didn’t like what my life was like,” she said. “I hated my job. I felt disgusting and guilty for the work I had been doing for a decade. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the things that I had done and all the lives I negatively affected through pornography. I felt grotesque.”

Solstad soon looked for a priest and spoke with him and his secretary, who told her “God loves you,” words that were like “a waterfall of light” and made her long “to be someone better. I wanted to be clean, I wanted to be happy and a great example of God’s love.”

While in RCIA, she said, she had to overcome some anti-Catholic prejudice she inherited from the Lutheran background, but she diligently researched everything “and I always came to the realization that what the Catholic Church was teaching was true.”

“I have honestly fallen in love with the Catholic Church,” she continued,  “There is such richness in the faith. The Holy Trinity, the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Mary the Mother of God, all the inspiring, heroic, and beautiful saints, the sacraments, the history, the tradition, everything! But what has touched me the most is the Eucharist … something so surprising for me with Jesus physically present.”

Entry into Catholic Church, first Communion

On April 3, Solstad shared on her social media some photos of her first Communion at the Easter Vigil on March 30.

“These five seconds will forever be emblazoned in my heart, mind, and soul. This is the best moment of my life,” the young woman wrote. 

“My life has changed for the better so much during these past several months, but it pales in comparison to how much this moment of receiving my first Eucharist permanently transformed me,” she recounted.

“I will never be the same again and I thank God for this undeniable fact. I am so in love with you, Jesus. Never allow me to move even one inch from your most Sacred Heart,” she wrote.

Solstad concluded her post with the first part of the Magnificat, the prayer the Virgin Mary exclaimed when she was pregnant with Jesus and met her cousin Elizabeth, who was pregnant with John the Baptist.

“My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden. For he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is on those who fear him from generation to generation,” she wrote, quoting Mary’s response to Elizabeth as recorded in Luke’s Gospel. 

Solstad’s sole source of income now is from her religious goods store, which can be found here.

This story was first published by ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner. It has been translated and adapted by CNA. Excerpts were also drawn from ChurchPop.

Pope Francis to seminarians: a warning against digital pornography

 

Pope Francis warns seminarians that the vice of pornography ‘weakens the soul’

ROME— Pope Francis warned seminarians this week about how the vice of digital pornography “weakens the priestly heart.”

In a meeting with hundreds of seminarians studying in Rome, the pope underlined that it is important for seminarians and priests to be very careful about the “temptation of digital pornography” because “it weakens the soul.”

“Dear brothers, be careful of this. The pure heart, the heart that receives Jesus every day, cannot receive this pornographic information,” Pope Francis said on Oct. 24 in Paul VI Hall.

“And if from your cell phone you can delete this, delete it, so you won’t have temptation at hand. And if you can’t delete it, protect yourself properly so you don’t have access to this. I tell you, it weakens the soul.”

Pope Francis explained that he wanted to bring up the problem of pornography because “it is a vice that so many people have — so many lay men, so many lay women, and even priests and religious sisters.”

He added that he was not just talking about “criminal pornography, like child abuse,” but what some people might call “‘normal’ pornography.”

“The devil enters from there. It weakens the priestly heart,” the pope repeated.

Pope Francis brought up pornography as he responded to 10 questions from seminarians ranging from spiritual direction and priestly formation to the war in Ukraine.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes pornography as “a grave offense” that “immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world,” injures the dignity of its participants, and “perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other.”

Many Catholic ministries have been founded to help people struggling with addiction to pornography, including Integrity Restored, Strive: 21-Day Porn Detox, Reclaim Sexual Health, Covenant Eyes, and the Victory App.

Safe Haven Sunday; our Lenten initiative and all year long

Lent and the Archbishop's focus on pornography awareness

02/06/201802/09/2018

Lent is a time for soul-searching, conversion

Posted by Jonelle Foltz

On Ash Wednesday, we will begin our 40-day Lenten journey. During this time, God will call us to look carefully at ourselves and identify our weakness and sin. In so doing, we can undergo a change of heart and draw closer to the Lord Jesus.
The church suggests that this is accomplished through prayer, fasting and sacrifices. I pray that your Lenten journey will be a time of blessing and new life.
As we begin Lent, we look at our society and identify ways in which we are tempted to stray from the way of the Lord.
I wish to identify one: pornography.
It has become common in our society and darkens the lives of many. Children can become challenged and addicted. This Lent in the Archdiocese of New Orleans, we are inviting parents, parishes, schools and all organizations to learn more about this common struggle and to protect ourselves and others, especially our children.
We are calling next weekend “Safe Haven Sunday.” Your parish has resources that will be given out to you on Safe Haven Sunday and throughout Lent to address this issue.
One of those resources is the book “Equipped,” a parenting guide written by the archdiocese in collaboration with Covenant Eyes, a Michigan-based company that for nearly two decades has been at the forefront of internet accountability by equipping people to protect themselves and their families from online dangers.
Covenant Eyes has dealt with many questions that people face. How can I teach my children to use the internet with integrity? How do I guard my own heart and remain pure online? How do I serve as an example to my family and church?
The book “Equipped” is a parenting guide that discusses the sexualized culture we live in today. Pornography is one of the temptations people experience in our culture, and we pray not to be led into temptation.
Some may wonder why we are making such an emphasis on pornography. I don’t think it is overstating things to say that “porn has become the norm.” Some school children are addicted by the time they are in the seventh or eighth grade. The church must address this issue in order to fulfill its ministry. Many parents are not aware their children view pornography. We can help them.
This educational awareness and prayerful focus on pornography will be ongoing. Plans already are being made for the resources and guides for next year.
May Lent be a time of conversion and new life as we seek God’s mercy. May your 40-day Lenten journey be blessed.
Please pray for the success of our important pastoral initiative.

Archdiocese of New Orleans addresses the harm from pornography

Creating a ‘Safe Haven’ From the Pornography Pandemic

Posted by Judy Roberts on Monday Jan 22nd, 2018 at 9:39 AM

On Feb. 17-18, the Archdiocese of New Orleans will inaugurate a new program to alert parents, educators and clergy about the harm posed by explicitly sexual material and arm them with protective tools.

NEW ORLEANS — When New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Aymond heard within a week three tragic stories about pornography’s impact on people in his archdiocese, he knew it was time to seek divine direction.
“As I prayed about it, I said, ‘Okay, Lord, it’s a problem, but if I don’t do anything about it, it’s still a problem.’” Archbishop Aymond responded by assembling a team that is developing a five-year pastoral plan to educate parents, educators and clergy about the threat pornography presents and to give them the tools to protect themselves and their families.
The plan will be introduced to the faithful Feb. 17-18 with “Safe Haven Sunday,” a weekend set aside to address the issue within the context of the liturgy. Homilies and prayer petitions will deal with the pornography problem, and parishes will distribute the book Equipped: Smart Catholic Parenting in a Sexualized Culture, which tells about a free seven-day email program offering practical tips on creating safe digital environments in the home. Anyone can enroll in the program by texting the word “secure” to 66866.
David Dawson, director of the archdiocese’s Office of Marriage and Family Life, said by initiating a public conversation about pornography, the archdiocese is attempting to shed light on this scourge and remove it from under the cover of darkness.

“We have to talk about it,” Dawson said. “It gives it more power when there’s shame and keeping it under wraps. This is something we’re all affected by. We need to make it a priority and recognize that this is not something we can avoid and pretend is not there. And God can help us with this.”
Indeed, the pervasiveness of pornography today is such that it is accessible to anyone with a smartphone, tablet or laptop or desktop computer, making children and young people particularly vulnerable.
According to the U.S. bishops’ 2015 document “Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to Pornography,” the average age of first exposure to pornography is 11, and nearly all young males and more than half of young females see pornography before the age of 18, often through accidental access via a pop-up ad or typo.
The bishops’ document also notes that, by age 5, half of children go online daily; by age 13, three-quarters have a mobile phone, and, on average, 15-to-18-year-olds spend at least an hour a day consuming media on their phones.

Talking With Children
Because of his work in marriage and family life, Dawson, a father of six whose oldest is 9, said the danger of pornography exposure via the internet was on his radar before the archdiocese undertook its five-year campaign.
In his own home, knowing that the average age of first exposure is 11, he has made sure that his children do not have their own computer devices and that when they do use them, they do so with a parent and with a purpose.
Nonetheless, he said, he is aware that his children’s friends and family members may have devices, so he has begun to talk with his children about what they should do if they see pornography online. “At this point in our history and culture, kids have to be aware of the dangers of these things, so when they are exposed they will come to us and ask for help.”
Timmy McCaffery, the associate director of the archdiocese’s Office of Marriage and Family Life and chairman of the “Create in Me a Clean Heart” initiative committee,. said he and his wife also encourage their children to come to them should they see something online that scares them or they don’t understand.
As the bishops’ document points out, children often encounter pornography through an accidental click. “But once a kid sees something at a young age,” McCaffery said, “he’s not in a position to be able to handle it and distinguish it from something good.”
McCaffery said, even at 6 years old, his oldest child has friends who have their own iPods and tablets. He and his wife are responding by teaching their children that when they use such devices, they do so with their parents.
“They also don’t see my wife and I surfing aimlessly,” he said. “When we use a tablet, phone or computer, it’s with a purpose. When that purpose is served, we put the device down and go back to living our lives.”

‘People Feel Powerless’
He said the response so far to the archdiocese’s initiative has been overwhelming — and one of gratitude. “I think people were caught off-guard initially that the archdiocese was so willing to talk about it. Especially among educators, administrators and parents, people feel powerless, even though they know it’s an issue. Some parents might say, ‘not my kid,’ but when they sit through a few minutes of talking about it, they know it’s a worthwhile conversation.
“I think educators and priests are especially aware of the issue and are ready to jump in. They’re just glad someone else is starting the conversation because they don’t know what to do and where to turn.”
McCaffery said the archdiocese has received help in developing its plan from Covenant Eyes, a company that provides accountability and filtering services for internet use.

“We’re partnering with them because they do such a good job of partnering with other resources around the world — counseling, speaking, presenting, research,” he said. “They’re connected with some of the best resources in the world.”
Ryan Foley, an internet safety consultant and vice president for business development at the Owosso, Michigan-based Covenant Eyes, said his company was interested in building a strategic plan to help apply the bishops’ “Clean Heart” document and was seeking a diocese willing to serve as a prototype. “We as a company said, ‘We’re going to give that document life and take seriously how to implement it.’”
Now that Archbishop Aymond has taken the lead by responding, Foley said, several other bishops and dioceses have expressed interest in doing something similar.
As a Catholic, Foley said he is convinced that the Church cannot just deal with the pornography problem in the confessional alone.
“We have to get proactive. … We tend to deal with problems after they become problems,” he said, “but if we don’t get control of this, we’re going to see continued decline in marriages, early trauma in children and all these negative things happening.”

Changing Views of Sex
Already, he said, researchers are finding that young people’s view of sexuality is changing in a way that diverges from the Church’s teaching. Foley cited a recent Barna study that, for example, found millennials were more likely than older adults to consider the purpose of sex to be self-expression and personal fulfillment.
In reporting the study’s findings, Barna merely notes as a factor the liberalization of social and moral attitudes toward sex since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, but Foley is concerned about pornography’s effect on an already-sexualized culture because it attacks the core of what the Church teaches. “This could be the greatest impediment to evangelization the Church has ever seen,” he said.
Archbishop Aymond agreed, pointing out that pornography also spawns other social maladies such as addictions, human trafficking and disrespect for women. “I think it’s one of the greatest moral issues of our day, and people are not very willing to talk about it. It’s the elephant in the room.”
Dawson added that pornography’s availability has meant that what is being learned at the foundational level about sex is often being conveyed through porn, distorting the viewer’s understanding of his or value as a human being and the nature of love and relationships. “If I’m affected by porn, my understanding of my value is very much affected. I can’t understand God’s image of me if porn is part of the way I understand the world.”

Prevention First
Although the Church as a source of healing, mercy and restoration can do many things to help fix the hurt caused by pornography, Foley said he believes the greater need now is to get ahead of the problem by working on prevention.
The New Orleans “Clean Heart” initiative began with a letter from Archbishop Aymond to all pastors, catechetical leaders and educators, followed by two days of workshops last March. “That went so well,” McCaffery said, “that the archdiocese decided to close all the schools for one day in November and invite educators for a day of formation.” A key part of the day was an hourlong presentation on the issue of pornography.
Now, the next step is getting the message out through “Safe Haven Sunday,” a name inspired by the U.S. bishops’ “Clean Heart” document, which says, “The use of pornography by anyone in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative effects throughout a family’s life and across generations.”
McCaffery said “Safe Haven Sunday” is a kind of trial run to help the archdiocese see how it can use its resources to reach the largest number of people. Going forward, a clearinghouse website for different audiences will be key. Also planned are clergy trainings and presentations to parents in schools and parishes.
Reaching and empowering parents is especially important, McCaffery said, because high-school and middle-school students cannot be expected to police themselves when it comes to such a potent substance as pornography.
“Kids are being asked to handle such powerful media in a way that their brains are not yet able to handle,” he said. “Parents need to be very aware and be involved in decisions made in the home, especially with technology.”

Here to Help
Through its campaign, McCaffery said, the archdiocese wants to help people understand that this is a big issue, but it’s not the end of the road. “It’s not just that porn is bad, but we’re here to help. It’s such a powerful substance, and it affects us more deeply than people give it credit for … Young people especially are influenced and drawn in, and how it affects them is overwhelming. We want to be able to say, especially as parents: ‘We are here to help. God is here to help.’”

Judy Roberts writes from Graytown, Ohio

50 Shades of Porn/Sin/Wrong

If you think you have a sinful inclination to go see this movie, please reconsider.  BSDM is not love.  50 Shades of Grey is not a love story because love is more than sex, especially BDSM.  Besides, movie critics say it's a bust as a movie, poorly directed and poorly acted.  Yet even if it were "well done" it's just plain trash.

Al Kresta and his team have put together a great deal of help which can be found here:

https://avemariaradio.net/kresta_in_the_aftern/50-shades-of-wrong/

Bottom line:BDSM is porn; ergo, 50 Shades of Grey is porn; Christians are called to avoid all porn

50 Shades of Arousal Disorders: BDSM and the Moral Life

February 7, 2015 by Jennifer Fitz

If you browse among the purveyors of sex toys, which you most emphatically should not do, among the offerings you’ll find all the regalia of oppression and humiliation.  BDSM as a variant on traditional women’s porn as sold at the grocery store didn’t come out of nowhere.   Long before the intelligentsia were conflicted in their literary analysis by the clash between “cutting edge” and “terrible writing”, the neighbors were busy acting out sexual fantasies straight from the annals of Amnesty International.

What’s the scoop on BDSM?

BDSM is the going term for sexual behavior in which those involved act out themes of domination and submission; it’s a term used by those who legitimize this behavior.  The justification is that if it’s only a game, and the players are willing, it’s a fine game.  You can find other eras in history when this type of erotica was socially acceptable, at least in certain circles — same as you can find other eras in history when all kinds of things one shouldn’t do were, at the time, socially acceptable.
Being willing to do something is not the measure of right and wrong.

Disordered Arousal and the Formation of your Conscience

One of the of the difficulties with certain sexual sins — as with some other categories of sin — is that the internal feedback mechanism has been co-opted.  If a particular thought or behavior brings about feelings of intense pleasure, it is natural to assume: I guess this is legitimate, yes?  We rely, in these circumstances, on outside information as a corrective to our erring feelings.
The modern legitimization of BDSM followed in the wake of the legitimization of all kinds of other serious evils.  Compared to say, killing your own child, letting someone handcuff you to the bedframe is small potatoes.  So Christian moralists don’t spend a lot of time chatting about this.
The difficulty is that if you are a person who experiences sexual arousal in some untoward context (whether BDSM or anything else), if the wider society is telling you that your feelings are entirely consistent with your highest good, and therefore you ought to feel free to act upon them, you are suddenly bereft of any moral safety-net to bring you back to reality.

What Part for Shame and Pride?

If your brain works correctly, sexual arousal will take place within the context of a mutually-cherishing, tender, compassionate marital relationship.  If your brain doesn’t work correctly, through no fault of your own, it’s about as shameful a situation as needing glasses or a hearing aid: Deal with the problem as well as you can, and for goodness sake don’t march in a parade encouraging other people to live a lifestyle of nearsightedness just because some substantial but difficult-to-pin percentage of Americans couldn’t pass the driving test without corrective lenses.
There’s not really anything to be proud about if your brain and other parts work perfectly, though of course you know people who go about terrified of needing glasses and sure, just sure, that they are morally-superior specimens because of their excellent eye chart results.  These people are ludicrous.  If you get sexually-aroused at the one thing you are supposed to find sexually arousing, good for you.  But it’s not a contest.  We live in a fallen world.
Our obligation, though, is to correct our thoughts as well as we can, and order our behavior towards what is good, no matter how much our feelings may conflict.

What’s a Christian to do about BDSM?

It’s pretty straightforward: Don’t engage in BDSM role-playing, don’t read BDSM literature, avoid all porn regardless of the theme, and work on building healthy relationships.  Ultimately we won’t find fulfillment in disordered sexual action or fantasy of any kind, whether it’s sleeping with your girlfriend or doing that weird thing alone in your room with all those pancakes.  Don’t go there.  It’s an empty, dead-end route.
Build healthy, mutually-respectful, chaste friendships with the people around you.  If you have a vocation to the married life, every aspect of that relationship should be one of mutual care and kindness.

Read more: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jenniferfitz/2015/02/50-shades-of-arousal-disorders-bdsm-and-the-moral-life/#ixzz3R7f2S43E

50 Shades of Grey; porn; Catholics and all Christians should take a pass on this garbage

To everyone who think 50 Shades is all sorts of awesome: Please, stop and THINK

Jonathon van Maren Follow Jonathon

It’s pretty depressing when you realize that, in 2014, many people seem to think that destruction of human dignity is a small price to pay for an orgasm.
I suppose when I write a column about a book that just sold its 100 millionth copy I shouldn’t be surprised when I get a bit of a kickback. But I have to say—I wasn’t expecting hundreds of commenters, many saying they were Christian, to come out loudly defending the porn novel 50 Shades of Grey, often tastelessly interspersed with details from their own sex lives.
People squawked that we “shouldn’t judge” those who practice bondage, domination, sadism and masochism (BDSM), and informed me that “no one gets hurt” and that it “isn’t abuse” and said that it was “just fantasy” (as if we have a separate brain and body for fantasy).
Meanwhile, not a single commenter addressed one of the main arguments I laid out—that with boys watching violent porn and girls being socialized to accept violence and torture inside of a sexual relationship, we have created a toxic situation in which people very much are being hurt.
In response to the defenders of this trash, let me make just a few points.

1. Not all consent is equal.

People keep trumpeting this stupid idea that just because someone consents to something or allows something to happen, it isn’t abusive.
But if someone consents to being beaten up, punched, slapped, whipped, called disgusting and degrading names, and have other things done to them that I will choose not to describe here, does that make it any less abusive? It makes it legal (perhaps, but it certainly doesn’t make it any less disgusting or violent.)

Would you want your daughter to be in a relationship with Christian Grey? Would you want your son to turn into Christian Grey? If the answer is yes to either of those, someone should call social services.

Anyone who works with victims of domestic and sexual assault will tell you that just because someone permits something to happen or doesn’t extricate themselves from a situation doesn’t mean it isn’t, in fact, abuse. Only when it comes to sex are people starting to make this argument, so that they can cling to their fetishes and justify their turn-ons. Those women who defend the book because they think it spiced up their sex life are being incredibly selfish and negligent, refusing to think about how this book could affect other women in different situations, as well as young and impressionable girls.
In the words of renowned porn researcher and sociologist Dr. Gail Dines:

In his book on batterers, Lundy Bancroft provides a list of potentially dangerous signs to watch out for from boyfriends. Needless to say, Christian [Grey of 50 Shades of Grey] is the poster boy of the list, not only with his jealous, controlling, stalking, sexually sadistic behavior, but his hypersensitivity to what he perceives as any slight against him, his whirlwind romancing of a younger, less powerful woman, and his Jekyll-and-Hyde mood swings. Any one of these is potentially dangerous, but a man who exhibits them all is lethal.
The most likely real-world ending of Fifty Shades of Grey is fifty shades of black and blue. The awful truth in the real world is that women who partner with a Christian Grey often end up hightailing it to a battered women's shelter with traumatized kids in tow. The less fortunate end up in graveyards.

2. 50 Shades of Grey normalizes intimate partner violence…

…and sickeningly, even portrays it as romantic and erotic. Amy Bonomi, Lauren Altenburger, and Nicole Walton published an article on the impact of 50 Shades last year in the Journal of Women’s Health. Their conclusions are intuitive and horrifying:

While intimate partner violence (IPV) affects 25% of women and impairs health, current societal conditions—including the normalization of abuse in popular culture such as novels, film, and music—create the context to support such violence.
Emotional abuse is present in nearly every interaction, including: stalking (Christian deliberately follows Anastasia and appears in unusual places, uses a phone and computer to track Anastasia’s whereabouts, and delivers expensive gifts); intimidation (Christian uses intimidating verbal and nonverbal behaviors, such as routinely commanding Anastasia to eat and threatening to punish her); and isolation (Christian limits Anastasia’s social contact). Sexual violence is pervasive—including using alcohol to compromise Anastasia’s consent, as well as intimidation (Christian initiates sexual encounters when genuinely angry, dismisses Anastasia’s requests for boundaries, and threatens her). Anastasia experiences reactions typical of abused women, including: constant perceived threat (“my stomach churns from his threats”); altered identity (describes herself as a “pale, haunted ghost”); and stressful managing (engages in behaviors to “keep the peace,” such as withholding information about her social whereabouts to avoid Christian’s anger). Anastasia becomes disempowered and entrapped in the relationship as her behaviors become mechanized in response to Christian’s abuse.
Our analysis identified patterns in Fifty Shades that reflect pervasive intimate partner violence—one of the biggest problems of our time. Further, our analysis adds to a growing body of literature noting dangerous violence standards being perpetuated in popular culture.

3. Really? Sadism?

I notice that commenters rarely break down what the acronym “BDSM” actually stands for: bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism. If they did, they could no longer make the repulsive claim that “love” or “intimacy” have anything to do with it.
The definition of sadism is “enjoyment that someone gets from being violent or cruel or from causing pain, especially sexual enjoyment from hurting or punishing someone…a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others.”
As one of my colleagues noted, we used to send sadists to a therapist or to prison, not to the bedroom. And 100 million copies of this porn novel have been unleashed on our society informing people that getting off on hurting someone is romantic and erotic. It is a brutal irony that people who scream about water-boarding terrorists are watching and experimenting with sexual practices far more brutal. As one porn researcher noted, some online BDSM porn promotes practices and behaviors that would be considered unlawful under the Geneva Convention if they were taking place in a wartime context.
It seems the Sexual Revolutionaries have gone from promoting “safe sex” to “safe words”—just in case the pain gets too rough. And none of them seem to be volunteering information on just how a woman is supposed to employ a safe word with a gag or bondage headgear on.
But who cares, right? Just one more casualty on our culture’s new Sexual Frontier.

4. “It’s just fiction and fantasy and has no effect on the real world!”

That’s total garbage and they know it. I’ve met multiple girls who were abused like this inside of relationships. Hotels are offering “50 Shades of Grey” packages replete with the helicopter and private suites for the proceedings. According to the New York Post, sales of rope exploded tenfold after the release of the book. Babeland reported that visits to the bondage section of their website spiked 81%, with an almost 30% increase in the sale of things like riding crops and handcuffs.
I could go on, but I won’t. As Babeland co-founder Claire Cavanah noted, “It’s like a juggernaut. You’d be surprised to see how very ordinary these people are who are coming in. The book is just an explosion of permission for them to try something new in the bedroom.”

5. What does this book and the BDSM movement say about the value of women and girls?

I’d like the defenders of this book to try stop thinking with their nether-regions for just a moment and ask themselves a few simple questions: What does sadism and sexual torture (consensual or not) say to our culture about the value of girls? What does it say to boys about how they should treat girls? The youth of today are inundated with porn and sexually violent material—is nobody—nobody—at all worried about the impact this has on them? On the girls who are being abused by boys who think this is normal behavior—and think it is normal themselves?
Dr. Gail Dines relates that when speaking to groups of women who loved the book, they all grow deathly silent when she asks them two simple questions: Would you want your daughter to be in a relationship with Christian Grey? Would you want your son to turn into Christian Grey?
If the answer is yes to either of those, someone should call social services.
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This book and the sadism it promotes are an assault on human dignity, and most of all an assault on the worth and value of girls and women. Please consider the impact you will have on your daughters and the vulnerable and confused people around you when you read and promote this book. Anastasia Steele is, thankfully, a fictional character. But real girls are facing these expectations and demands from a culture that elevates a sexual sadist to the level of a romantic hero. Ask yourselves if you want their “love” and “intimacy” to include sadism and domination, or real respect.
Because you can’t have both.

The scourge of pornography

Think a Little Porn Is Harmless? This Is Guaranteed to Change Your Mind. Warning: You Can’t Unwatch This

At the root of the porn industry and the exploitation of women is a desire driven by men. What if instead of being part of the problem, men became part of the solution? *Caution: This video contains graphic elements.


Give this a watch:


http://www.faithit.com/the-way-this-video-connects-porn-and-global-injustice-will-make-you-see-the-world-in-a-very-different-way-warning-you-cant-unwatch-this/#.UtBu-4fmLgz.facebook