From our Parish retreat

This was a presentation at Saturday's retreat; from our host Jeanne Burmaster, a spiritual director in the Archdiocese of New Orleans. Enjoy:

2009 Lenten Retreat
“BE OF GOOD HEART”
Presenter: Jeanne Burmaster

Have you noticed how often we hear the L word these days? While shopping at Walmart, I may hear it ten times from people talking on their cell phones. When I was growing up, the L word was rarely mentioned at my house. My momma always told us kids, “Don’t tell me that you love me, SHOW me that you love me.” For momma that meant, showing affection and respect by being obedient, by helping out around the house, doing my best in school, being nice to my little brother – and most importantly to mom, was doing it ALL with a good heart, not resentfully. She was always quick to say, “don’t you roll your eyes at me” and then she would launch into a long sermon about how grateful I should be about this or that. Believe me, in order to avoid those sermons; I put a smile on my face (but sometimes, when momma wasn’t looking.) But, even more than that, mom showed us by her example that to love someone meant to be willing to sacrifice for that person, to put their needs above my own. No, the L word wasn’t used very much in my house when I was growing up, but there was never any doubt that I was loved.
In today’s world however, the word love is tossed around like a football. I’m always a little taken aback when people I hardly know tell me they “love me”. “LuvYa” is sort of the new word for “Goodbye”. I was at the nursing home a few weeks ago visiting my mom who was in rehab for a broken hip when one of her nurses, walking out of her room, said, “I LuvYa, Miss Gerri”. My mom looked up at her and said, “Would you die for me?” Stopped in her tracks, the nurse said, “What did you say?” Mom said, “Would you die for me? That’s what loving someone really means, that you are willing to die for them.” Rolling her eyes at mom, the nurse said, “Oh, okay, see ya later,” as she hurried out the door. You see, for my mother, saying I love you, means I put you first above ALL things, even my own life.
Now, I think telling someone you love them is a good thing, but like my mom, hearing it said often and in a casual way, sort of waters down the meaning for me. As I hear people saying it, I wonder sometimes do they think about what they are saying it really mean it. I’d like to believe they do. Unfortunately the human side of love frequently has limits that are often left unspoken. What they really mean may be, “I’ll love you as long as you make me happy, I’ll love you as long as we are financially stable, I’ll love you as long as life is going smoothly. I’ll love you for 6 months, for 5 years, for 10 years.” Human love is not always a lasting thing. That may be why it is so difficult for us to believe in God’s kind of love.
I learned at a young age that I had to prove my love. Love had to be worked at and nurtured. It was just a WORD, without the action.
How does God prove his love for us? In John 3:16 we hear that “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him may not die but may have eternal life.”
The Catechism tells us that God, by taking on human flesh, reveals the dignity of every human person. Each of us is precious in his site. He loves us. He sent his son to reveal to us how great that love is.
It is like no other love the world has ever known. Over the centuries, it has inspired an answering love in the hearts of mankind. There are two great truths that are clear to anyone who has looked on Jesus Christ. He was MORE than man and when we imitate him, we can be MORE than human. Love was the measure of Christ’s greatness and it must also be the measure of ours. Love is tested in the crucible of suffering; and no human heart ever passed through such agonizing torment as our Savior was subjected too. The love that survived that test had to be supernatural and divine.
No one who has meditated on Christ’s Passion could ever forget it. Who could forget Jesus’ despair and depression in the garden when, foreseeing the coming events, those thoughts wrung blood from every pore in his body. Have most of you seen the movie the “Passion of the Christ”? It was so hard for me to watch those scenes of Christ being beaten and scourged (I had no idea how horrific a scourging was, until I saw that movie). I will never be able to erase those images from my mind. Jesus, the most loving, the kindest, the best, and the most wonderful friend and son, bowed his head in death upon the Cross, after hours of indescribable anguish and torment. All of that blood that poured out of his body; that was for us, for you and for me. We shrink at the thought of Christ’s Passion and yet we are thankful for it because his agony prevented ours. Like the scripture says, “by his stripes, we have been healed”. We can’t contemplate the dying figure on the cross without being reminded that we’ve been redeemed because of that cross. Jesus and the Father’s, supernatural love for us, saved us from inevitable and eternal misery, and obtained for us our one chance at Heaven.
We all know what love is on a human level; it is, more often than not a love of the senses. A young man and woman meet, fall in love and marry because she was sweet and easygoing and he liked that about her and she just loved his great sense of humor. A year later he sees her as boring - and for her, his stupid jokes have become very annoying. (Hum, I can relate to that) Unfortunately, it is often the case that human love does not endure.
It thrives on joy; it is eager for pleasure and satisfaction; but when life becomes a struggle and is filled with disappointment and stresses, it is chilled and numbed. Add a little suffering into the mix and it’s over, Hasta La Vista, Baby.

Jesus came to teach us about Supernatural love, to save us from ourselves, to call us to a whole new way of being. He was willing to go to the cross, take all the humiliation, the pain and suffering, and most of all, the sins of the entire human race -- past, present and future -- upon Himself. He was willing to die for the very people who put him up on that cross. How many of us would be willing to take a bullet for someone who persecuted us. Like my mother, most of us would probably be willing to die for someone we loved, but would we do it for a murderer, or a child molester, or a rapist. Jesus did. He did it because He loves ALL of us, in spite of our shortcomings, sins, our failures and ourselves.
That Divine, supernatural love, that Jesus came to teach us about, inspires a love within us that can transform our lives. Throughout the Gospels are stories of the way Christ’s love transformed those who knew him – Mary Magdalene went from being a prostitute to one of Jesus’ most devoted followers. Peter went from denying Jesus to being the rock upon which he built His church, Paul from a persecutor of the Christians to their staunchest ally.
We, like the people in Jesus’ day are drawn by this outpouring of love that Jesus has for us. His love has a magic power than makes weak men and women into heroes. It can transform us, even us, into holy men and women, capable of loving God and one another with the heroic love of Saints.
It is a love that enables you to keep loving your spouse or your children or your best friend even when you can’t seem to find anything lovable about them. It’s what makes us able to forgive and to keep forgiving, when what we really want to do is to STAY angry with the person who keeps hurting us. When Jesus commanded us to love our enemies, He knew that we’d have to possess the kind of love that He had for us when he so willingly hung on that cross in our place.
He told his disciples in John 15:13, “There is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. Jesus didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk. He proved his love for us.
How do we prove our love for Jesus? By, like the disciples – saying “Yes” to his invitation to “follow him”. Following Jesus means following God’s commandments as Jesus himself did, not because we fear eternal damnation but because our love for God makes us desire to please him and serve him above all things and to do it joyfully. When I was young I didn’t really understand why my mother wanted us to do everything she told us with a Good Heart. It wasn’t until I was a wife and a mother myself that I finally “Got It”. It’s not a good feeling when you know that the person who is helping you is doing it reluctantly and resentfully. They might be doing it because they know you will be angry if they don’t do it, or maybe just to shut you up. (I get that a lot) I don’t knot about you but, I would rather do something myself than have someone do it unwillingly and unkindly. It hurts my feelings. And, so it is with God. How much more pleasing it is to Him when we can be so changed that we joyfully and enthusiastically do his will and follow his commands, not out of fear or because we have to but out of love and respect. Not just meeting his expectations of us, but exceeding them,
Just like the disciples - spending time with Jesus will transform us. We all could use a little transforming right? (My husband would say I need a lot of transforming – that’s okay, I know I am a work in progress – aren’t we all?) I often take one step forward and two steps back on my spiritual journey. Heck sometimes it seems that I take one step forward and 10 steps back. At those times, I keep reminding myself that I’m still in the process of chipping away at all that STUFF that needs to go and it’s not easy. Making spiritual progress is hard work. The world pulls us in one direction and Jesus in another. It’s a constant tug of war within ourselves and we need help to overcome the world. The most significant step in my spiritual journey was when I came to understand that God was not some distant being that I prayed to but that he was my constant companion.
Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of Heaven is within us because the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dwell in us. In John 14:23 he says, “If anyone loves me, he will keep My Word and my father will love him and we shall come to him and make our home with him”. God doesn’t meet up with us only when we kneel down to pray. We don’t leave him at church when we get up from our pews and walk out the doors on Sunday. He resides within us.
Knowing that God is present, operating in your life every moment of every day is the first step in being transformed.
Let’s use our imaginations for a moment. Imagine yourself as you were at mass last week. You can close your eyes if you want to. Do you remember what you wore to church, what pew you sat in? Now imagine Mass is over and you are walking out of church, but now Jesus walks out with you, and he stays with you all week (never leaving your side for a moment). Think about the past week. With Jesus visibly at your side, is there anything you would have done or said differently? You would have cleaned up your act, big time, right? No cursing, no yelling. Maybe you would have been more patient and understanding with your spouse or your children. You might have gone out of your way to help someone in need; definitely you would have put a little more money in the collection basket, if Jesus were looking over your shoulder. Well, he WAS! And He IS! He is always with us. He’s available for consultations and guidance and eager to assist us if we just ask. It’s sort of like he’s on retainer, isn’t it? With Jesus on retainer, why in the world would anyone EVER make a step without checking in with him first? When I communicate with God in this way, it helps me to be more aware of that inner voice within myself that voice that encourages me toward good thoughts and good deeds and it is also a voice that disturbs my spirit and tweaks my conscience when I am not on the right track.
A few months ago I went to Home Depot for my mom to get some supplies for the new craft room my husband was building for her. I was pleasantly surprised when the cashier totaled up my bill and I saw what cost was. On the way home, I started thinking, no; she must have made a mistake. Then I didn’t want to look at the receipt because I knew if I found something wrong I would have go back to rectify it. Well, then I started thinking, maybe I just won’t look at the receipt and momma will have saved a lot of money. If I don’t actually KNOW for sure of the mistake then it wouldn’t be a sin, right? No sooner had THAT thought been formed when I thought to myself, “Oh no, Devil, you are not going to trick me so easily”. Well, I did look at the receipt and there was a mistake and back to Home Depot I went. There I was again faced with another dilemma. The cashier didn’t want to believe that I had NOT been charged for 13 rolls of insulation. Was I sure, why didn’t I just forget about it? I actually had to argue with her to get her to take my money. I could easily have said, “Oh well, I tried.” Instead, I became an example to the people standing behind me in line that got in on the act of trying to help me explain the situation to the ditsy cashier. I could hear them talking amongst themselves about how “they didn’t know anyone who would have given a couple hundred dollars back without being forced to.” I was almost a celebrity by the time I left. We are constantly faced with moral dilemmas and difficult choices.
Being in “tune” to God, to that inner voice, helps us to choose rightly. Just like the Apostles, spending time with Jesus or the Father transforms US, changes US. The only way you are going to be transformed is to be more aware of his presence in your everyday life and by spending time in ordinary conversation with him.
How do we see that transformation in ourselves, how do we know if we are really connecting to God? Well, perhaps a few of us may experience a life changing moment in a flash, like St. Paul being knocked off his horse, but for most of us, the change happens slowly. Our priorities change, we become more patient, more forgiving, and more generous. We don’t hang on to our possessions with a death grip – we learn that, “like our mother’s always told us” it IS better to give than to receive. We loose our self-absorption and our desires of worldly pursuits and honors and concentrate on the things that are lasting. None of us want to admit that our lives, up to this moment, have not been very fruitful. But, in this whole wide world, there is no sinner that can’t be transformed into a saint by the Supernatural love of God
The Cross of Jesus Christ tells us not only of his love, but also of the possibilities within ourselves. When we have Christ at the center of our heart, there is nothing that can separate us from him or his love. St. Paul said it so expressively in Romans 8:35-39, “What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 8:35-39). (15 minutes) That’s my favorite scripture. When I read it I can almost hear my mother saying, “Now that’s the kind of love I’m talking about!”
Do any of you remember that movie “The Dead Poet’s Society”? It expounded to the philosophy “Carpe Diem”. Seize the day! Eat, drink and be merry! This is the way the world thinks. We see it in every man with his riches and his accomplishments, and his possessions. They are “living for today” and not really worried about the future. They think they already have everything they need for perfect joy. They forget the unseen, the unattained. Possessions don’t last, success can turn to failure in an instant and love- well we’ve already discussed the woes of human love. Earthly pursuits are fleeting and they don’t last. If we are living in the present with no concern for the future, the spirit within us begins to dim and grow blind to the possibilities of the ideal, a life with Christ. We are so concerned with the here and now that we forget about tomorrow.
This is a time when we are in dire need of divine influence - to lift us up out of the mire of this spiritual desolation.
The lesson that seems hardest for us to learn is that our present life compared with eternal life is - for want of a better word – inadequate. Why do we find the inadequacy of the present the hardest lesson to learn? What is the matter with us? We are petty and short sighted and small minded. We fail to view things with eternal eyes. Christ came in human form so that we would understand that this world is not our real home. He wanted to show us that only in the life beyond do we ARRIVE at the real goal of our existence. But, we still have some work to do. Jesus saved us from eternal damnation but he didn’t give us a free ticket to enter those Pearly Gates. Heaven is the fruit of a lifetime of struggle. We must work at being holy.
Belief in Christ means facing toward the future. Looking at the BIG PICTURE. Gazing on Christ rising into heaven the disciples could never be satisfied with the things of earth, ever again. They wanted to go where he went. He gave them divine ambition. He taught them that the meanest of human creatures could have the opportunity of one day sharing in the life of God.
Even in our human weaknesses and failings, hope still burns in our hearts. Because we know that Christ, raised from the dead, goes before us to a place where the Book of Revelation says, “, “He shall dwell with them and they shall be his people and he shall be their God who is always with them. He shall wipe every tear from their eyes and there shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or pain, for the former world has passed away.”

*****Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he spoke to the disciples, to prepare them for his going.
In John 14:26, Jesus says, “the Paraclete, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name will instruct you in everything and remind you of all that I told you.” He goes on to say in John 16:2-4 “They will put you out of synagogues. Indeed, an hour is coming when those who kill you will think that by doing so they are offering worship to God. And they will do this because they have not known the Father or me. But, I have said these things to you so that when their hour comes you may remember that I told you about them.”
What he said was far from reassuring for the Disciples. He foretells of a time of persecution and suffering, when their faith will be tested, they will be expelled from the synagogues and hunted down like wild beasts, they will be destroyed as enemies of God. Insult, banishment, suffering, even death – this was his bequest to them. Nothing could be clearer then, that Christ did not promise his disciples freedom from suffering or protection against bodily pain.
What was it he said? “I have said these things to you so that when their hour comes you may REMEMBER that I told you about them.” According to Jesus all that would be necessary would be for the disciples to recall His word and to be faithful to the ever-present grace of the Holy Spirit.
Almost from the moment the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost the persecutions began. Generation after generation witnessed the attempt to drown the Christian Faith in the blood of the Martyrs. Rack and scourge, sword and fire, burning at the stake and crucifixion – every diabolical means they could imagine or devise were used against Christ’s followers. But they were strong in the strength of the Spirit sent by their master. They sang as the lions were unleashed upon them in the arena, they praised God as they were crucified, stoned and persecuted. Weak men, frail women and even little children were able to defy the torturers. They weren’t delivered from suffering but they were able to overcome it.
To us also, the Paraclete was promised, and in our lives too, Jesus’ prediction has come true. The advent of the Spirit has been followed by times of trial and often by great suffering.
For some people, it is hard to believe in God’s goodness when disaster strikes. If someone they love dies or becomes disabled, or is the victim of a violent crime. These things happen every day around us and to people we know. At such times life can seem cruel and unjust. Even people of faith question God when things like this happen to them. They want to know WHY? Is God punishing them? There was a time in my life when I thought that way, too. Whenever something bad happened to me, I would think to myself, maybe God is still angry with me for something or other that I had done in the past. It was my distorted image of God. I was still thinking of Him as harsh and judgmental and also it was my own inability to forgive myself that had me thinking that way. At that time, I still hadn’t fully understood God’s mercy and forgiveness and his perfect love for me, for Jeanne.
NOW I know that God would NEVER intentionally harm me to teach me a lesson or to exact some revenge for a past sin. Would any of you intentionally cause someone you love to be sick or to have an accident or to die? Of course not! And, neither does God. The God who knew us before we were born, and knit us in our mother’s womb the God who wrote your name in the palm of his hand and he knows the number of hairs on your head. How could anyone think that that God would vindictively and vengefully cause them harm? Has Jesus taught us nothing? If we are fearful or afraid of what God might do to us, it shows that we are not yet fully convinced that he REALLY loves us.
Some people find it easier to bear things if they think it IS God’s will. Remembers Job’s lament, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”. Job could live with the tragedies of his life if he thought it was God’s will. Other people find it harder to bear a loss if they think it is just a ghastly mistake and NOT the will of God.
We should never tell someone who is grieving that the loss of his or her loved one is the Will of God. Calling a tragic loss the will of God can have a devastating effect on our own faith and the faith of others, for it distorts the image of God.
You and I have to face facts. There is sadness in this life; there is suffering all around us. Sooner or later, we are all going to experience pain and loss. In his humanness Jesus, too, suffered sadness, fear, terror, anguish, abandonment and depression.
God does not cause our misfortunes. Some are caused by unfortunate circumstances, some by bad people and some are simply an inevitable consequence of our being human and being mortal. The painful things that happen to us are not punishments for our misbehavior; they are just part of the human experience.
We can turn to God for help in overcoming our pain precisely because we can tell ourselves that God is just as outraged by it as we are.
God may not have caused the misfortune, but he uses it. In Romans 8:28 Paul tells us, “We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love him.”
Looking back at my own life experiences, each time I suffered, emotionally or physically, it was a time of spiritual growth for me. After my hysterectomy when I learned I had cancer, God was the source of my strength. I spoke to him of my concerns, my fears, and about the decisions I would have to make. Placing my trust in his guidance I found a profound sense of peace during that difficult time.
So to us, just as to the disciples on the eve of our Lord’s departure into heaven, there comes the assurance, not that we shall have uninterrupted comfort, but that we shall have the assistance of the Holy Spirit to carry us through these trials. And that when he has come to the soul and dwells there, no enemy can vanquish us, no evil can really hurt us, but all things, big and little, pleasant and unpleasant, good and bad, will work together for our lasting and perfect joy that we will find one day, in our real home - in another time and another place.
For to everyone who follows this God who loves us with a Supernatural love, Jesus promises a good that is above anything our minds could imagine or our heart’s desire. “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has ready for those who love him.”