Of divorce and annulments; a great post by Fr. Michael Duffy

Divorced: Getting A Little Personal

October 7, 2012 By Fr. Michael F. Duffy

Things got a little personal at the end of my Masses this weekend. You see, it was a “deacon preach” weekend, which meant I wasn’t able to preach on the beauty and permanence of Marriage. The deacons I must say, preached beautifully about life (This is respect life Sunday) and about marriage. But as I was listening to the readings and the Gospel I thought that there may be a number of people who felt uncomfortable at hearing these words:

Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” In the house the disciples again questioned Jesus about this. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

My own parents were divorced around the time I was fifteen years old. I thought of them and I thought of the countless others who have gone through the difficult and painful experience of divorce. Marriage is meant to be forever – but sometimes it just doesn’t work. The Church recognizes that, the church empathizes with those who carry this heavy cross.
After the Post-Communion Prayer I offered a few words to the congregation about this. I spoke to them about the difficulty that so many of our fellow Catholics have hearing these words from the Gospel. Divorce is unfortunately a reality in our world. I told the congregation that I know this reality first hand, as my own parents went through such an experience. But the divorce for my parents wasn’t the end of the story. Through the gentle encouragement of a kind priest my parents went through the annulment process. It was probably the most healing experience that could have happened to my family.
So many people misunderstand the Church’s teaching of divorce, annulments and remarriage. I encouraged those in the congregation to speak to me or another priest about getting an annulment to help move on with their lives. I’ve heard of so many people staying away from the Eucharist because they are divorced and as a result cannot receive communion. NO! Divorce in and of itself is not a sin, is not a reason to stay away from the Eucharist. Being remarried outside of the Church would be a reason one should not receive Holy Communion. The Church recognizes the difficulty that so many people have when it comes to this area of life. She stands ready to assist those who are in pain.
Please pass these words on to those who are struggling with this reality right now. Divorce is an ugly, painful experience. It should always be a last resort. But it is something that is sometimes unavoidable. This reality doesn’t change the Church’s teaching on the beauty and permanence of marriage. It enhances the fact that the Church is mother and is home. No one should ever unnecessarily feel separated from her. The Church helped my family – and in helping my family it became clear just how much the Church is my family too.