Monday, August 22, 2016

Never consider yourself "finished"; the addiction of food never ends

The post I had hoped would have a happier story but it's my reality so here goes.  You may recall that I embarked on a healthy eating lifestyle late last August and set a goal for some serious weight loss for my daughter's wedding.  After losing about 10 lbs. on my own, I got involved with a program and a great coach and began to eat to live.  Slowly but surely I dropped the weight and I lost another 58 lbs. on the plan.  With just weeks before my daughter's April 30th wedding I was down 68 lbs. and an even better 80 lbs. from my all time high of near 340!  I really liked the plan and knew this worked for me, but like bad grass that never goes away, neither does the addiction to bad food choices.

As the pace and stress of the rapidly approaching wedding became real I started giving in to some bad ideas.  I would modify the plan on my own; try to outsmart the discipline, do my own thing. Thankfully, I was already too close to wedding day and I only packed on 3-4 lbs.  My biggest mistake was looking at the wedding as a finish line and then, in my weakness, use the fact that I had "made it" as an excuse to keep on cutting corners.

Some 4 months after the wedding I knew the old habits I was allowing back into my life.  Giving in to eating in the car from trip to trip, appointment to appointment, sneaking some fried food every now and again and treating myself to desserts and ice cream became more and more frequent.  All this time I'm not reaching out for help and not even looking at the scale.

Today I did; the results predictable but not defeating.  Since the wedding I've put on another 20 lbs., up a total of 24 lbs. from my low earlier this year.

I'm back on the plan and know what to expect.  I know what to do, am prepared for the ups and downs, and will continue to persevere.  But it's hard; will take plenty of prayer, lots of discipline and help, tons on help.  For me, wanting to cheat, giving in to temptations, making excuses for life events as reasons to eat are all part of the disease; all part of the addiction.

I'm going to start losing weight again, I'm going back to do battle, I'm going to keep working on overcoming addiction.  Please pray for me and with me as this is a battle.  I'll try to keep you posted along the way.

Here I go, I know I can do this!

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