Deacons & wives in the pew...together

One of the things that struck me as a first year Deacon is the separation from my wife during the celebration of the Mass. After all, for more years than I can remember she has been my "pew partner" Sunday after Sunday.

One of the things we were strongly "encouraged" to do was to write into our memorandum of understanding with our assigned pastor a weekend off clause. That's right; a weekend off clause. Now many hear this and say but you were called to an ordained ministry and you want a weekend off. You betcha!

The weekend off is, from my rookie viewpoint, VITAL. First of all, if we are Deacons, called to service, our ministry is 24/7. I am a Deacon at home, work, community events, all the time, no exceptions. Secondly, if I am true to my vocational call to be a servant I am actively engaged in diaconal ministry apart from the altar. And third, it is important to me to celebrate one weekend in the pew with my wife and it's OK for the parish to see me doing so. Yes, I get the usual what's wrong, why are you not serving. I remind them that I'm not an altar boy and yes I am taking the weekend off. Occasionally my wife and I will use the opportunity to worship at another parish. For the most part, I have been faithful to the weekend off commitment every month but one, due to a fellow Deacon's illness.

This weekend, as my wife and I continue to visit with our son in N. Carolina it was great to worship in the pew with her. It's always a joy to exchange the sign of peace with your spouse. And to sing together, pray together and go to Holy Communion together.

So the next time you see your Permanent Deacon in the pew with his wife; say a little prayer for both of them, thanking God for their service and their visible sign as a married couple. And to my Deacon friends, it's who we are; not what we do; take a weekend off and go to Mass with your wife!